Q&A: 1 Peter 3-4 week 5

1 Peter 3-4 part 5 Q&A

Here are some brief answers to our questions from our Sunday evening service.

First, here are some excellent sermon notes written by Dr. John Dickson on submission and slavery. He uses some very helpful language here reflecting on these difficult Bible topics.

I will keep these answers brief as they are not meant to be exhaustive. And this is a big topic. Continued discussion is needed for this topic in our culture.

1. How do you determine what gift you have received to serve others? The passage mentions ‘whatever gift’. What different gifts are included in this phrase?

God provides His church with all we need. He gives us spiritual gifts that are needed. So if there is a need in church, we can trust that God has provided someone with the gift to serve in that area. May it is you?

We are directed in using our gifts by the Holy Spirit who prompts us to serve in particular areas. he speaks to each of us and he speaks to our church family. So we need to listen to him and to each other.

One thing is certain - we are ALL called to serve in God's church in some way. Pray. Talk to your church family. Talk to your pastor.

2. Wives are to submit to their husbands as husbands lay their lives down for their wives. But what if the husbands don't do that? Are wives still to submit?

Not all husbands are lovingly sacrificial like Jesus - we all have a long way to go. Not every wife honours her husband in recognising his role to do this. So it works both ways.

If you look at the way we are called to submit to worldly authorities, (2:13), it does not qualify "submit to every human authority "if they are doing their job well". Sometimes we do submit knowing that our governments are not doing the right thing. But it is always to a point. And this is the point we are to submit... for the Lord's sake. At the point it is not glorifying to God, at the point it does not honour Jesus, we continue to submit. But only to that point. When a government tells us not to worship God, we take the lead from Daniel who submitted to God over Nebuchadnezzar and continue to worship the Lord. When we find ourselves in an abusive marriage or relationship, it is not for God;s glory to stay in such an abusive relationship. If a husband is not lovingly sacrificial, there may be a way that they can still be honoured in the hope that they will be won over by their wife. But at the point they are dishonouring their marriage and the Lord, then the call of submission / honour / respect is called into question.

Will I submit to my government if they call me to dishonour God? This is the question we are being asked with many new laws such as late-term abortion laws and Voluntary Assisted Dying laws. There is a point where God is not honoured by our submission. A nd for the Lord's sake, we must consider prayerfully our course of action.

3. You mentioned a few things that submission is not. Can you add some more examples of what it is (in a healthy marriage).

Submission is honour and respect for the role of the person in a position of headship. For a citizen living with a government, for a wife in a relationship with her husband, submission is about recognising and respecting an order in relationship roles. The husband is to sacrificially love. The wife is to honour (come under) that expectation. This is for the sake of order in our society and our relationships.

jesus submitted to his Father's will to die on the cross. He was not "less" for this. It was for the Lord's sake, for God's plans.

It's difficult to say "this is what honour" or "respect" looks like. But those words are certainly a better translation than the old translation of "obey".

4. Do you think the failure of men in marriage relationships has led to the increase of more women seeking same sex relationships.

(Qualifying comment: do you mean "same-sex sexual/romantic relationships? I have, perhaps wrongly, assumed this.) I honestly don't think my opinion matters here. What I think may be the case may not be. There are so many reasons for marriages failing in my experience. But Romans 1 reminds us of our sinful human nature. The whole chapter is helpful but here is just one verse that summarises it well:

That is, the reason we sin is because we do not choose to glorify God. We choose to glorify ourselves. Marriages can break down from either end or from both ends. The reason we sin is not because of this or that. it is simply because we make choices to not glorify God, but to glorify ourselves instead.

Why do marriages fail?

Why do women seek same-sex relationships?

Why do men seek same-sex relationships?

Why does domestic violence occur?

Why do people have extra-marital affairs?

Why do people have sexual relationships outside of marriage?

Why do we sin at all?

Because we choose to honour ourselves over the Lord. There are many reasons that may lead us to do these things, but in the end, the main reason is our sinful human hearts.

King David possibly says it the best - in a way that doesn't point fingers...

A final comment - I think it is very healthy to have same-sex (non-sexual, non-romantic) relationships or friendships. Men need strong relationships with other men and women with other women. My one observation is that people with strong friendships do well with resilience and facing struggles in life. The sad thing is that in our churches there can be many people without strong friendships among us. We need to encourage each other to hang out, to talk, to confide in each other, to build our every day relationships. This is good for us and can help us strengthen our romantic relationships (in my opinion!)

5. What is the biblical definition of submission? And why did the definition of submission change from a cultural point of view?

Biblically, the word is "hupotasso" which means (see Dickson's article linked above) "to willingly yield oneself in service of another." Which is not nearly the same as the word "obey". it is not about hierarchy. It is about order. When we yield voluntarily to the government, it is not because they are "better" than us.

We submit every day in acceptable societal ways. We submit to the care of a doctor. We submit to the charge of a teacher in a classroom. We submit to a mechanic working on our car. We willingly yield in service to them. Christians are called to submit for the sake of Christ (1 Peter 2:13), and out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

Why has this meaning changed? In some ways, it hasn't. We still willingly yield to our government or our doctor. We just don't use the word "submit". Why Perhaps because it has such negative connotations. Perhaps that has come from poor teaching in the church, where people have been taught in the past that to submit is to obey. To yield is to do what you are told. But this is not the nuance of the Biblical word. The marriage vows reflect this societal change - moving from "obey" to "honour". I think this is a much more helpful and accurate shift.

Hopefully, fewer people will try and make the Bible's idea of submission justify their harsh treatment of others, whether that is in marriage or with respect to a government.

6. This passage specifically tells wives to submit to husbands who don’t believe i.e. who may not love wives like Jesus loves church. Pls comment?

See question 2. But also, wives are encouraged to win their non-believing husbands over with gentleness and respect, with purity and reverence. (1 Peter 3:1-4). I think people often read this as "wives, do what your husband says, be obedient, so they might like you and become a Christian". But this is far from the meaning. Gentleness and respect, purity and reverence - these characteristics are in contrast to harshness and dishonour, haughtiness and disdain. Verse 15 picks up on this character in the way we share our faith with all people, not just our spouse. Again, submission is about honour and respect.

7. does Mike have the fancy toothbrush 👀?

A good question... will we ever know? Possibly not...

8. What model of toothbrush do you use/recommend?

I would certainly recommend one that does this:

best toothbrush characteristics

9. How can we tell which desires are for the will of God vs desires which seem neutral but could be a distraction from our faith?

Good question - and very difficult to know. This is why we need to be reading the Scriptures, speaking to God in prayer, and attending Church and Bible study together - this is how we gain wisdom in these things. The desires of God give glory to God, they honour his name and they bring out the fruits of the Spirit. That is perhaps a good place to start thinking aobut these things.

10. If you think the church differs from Jesus teaching what do you do ?

We need to act. Talking to our elders, our pastors, and even our Diocesan leaders. As Titus says:

We should never remain silent if we believe there is false teaching in the church. If that false teaching is not dealt with, this may be a good and Biblical reason to leave that Church.

11. Isn't the " hindrance to your prayers " mentioned in chapt 3 verse 7 pointing to sin as the cause?

Yes - the sin of not treating your wife with respect or as an equal in God's kingdom. How can we pray when our marriage does not reflect God;s will for us?

12. Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭9‬ ‭…repay evil with blessing. If many ‘Christians’ do it without their heart, is it hypocritical? (Continued in next question).13. On the contrary, is it better to say ‘We are struggling to do so? Any practical suggestion to do so, pls?

It would seem to be pretty meaningless if we did this without our heart. Perhaps it is better to say we are struggling to do it. But perhaps it is also better to struggle with it than to ignore it and not do it at all.

14. Do you think that society minimizes the impact of divorce on children?

Not sure I can comment on that as I'm no expert. I do hope that society may value marriage more highly than it currently does. I do hope that society will see a good example in Christian marriages - of people relating in marriage the way God intended. But sadly, Christians have not been good examples in the past. We can only hope to do better. Perhaps the impact of divorce on society as a whole is minimised. Having said that, I am thankful that it is much easier today for people to leave abusive marriages, as that was not the case a few decades ago. This has protected many people, including children. I think I CAN say (since I have more dealing with this area) that domestic and family violence has a HUGE impact on children and perhaps that is too often minimised or not given enough concern.

15. Sarah submitting included agreeing with Abraham she was his sister, and telling Abraham to get rid of Hagar and her son. Is that the submission of 1Pe?

This is such a difficult reference. yes, that is one area where Sarah submitted to Abraham.

Genesis 18:12 is the place where Sarah calls Abraham "lord" (a term of respect like "sir" or "Mr"). It was in reference to her and her husband being too old to have children when the Lord said they would.

There were many times Sarah followed what Abraham said to do - such as lie and pretend she was his sister (to protect them from their enemies). (Genesis 20:30)

But there are also many times Abraham did what Sarah told him to (and God told him to!)

There are many times Abraham and Sarah both do what each other says. They both make decisions in their marriage. But the focus in 1 Peter is on Sarah's honour of her husband. He honoured her also, but as Peter speaks to wives, he highlights Sarah's character. Abraham was not given as an example to the men, which is interesting! Bit she was a better example to wives than Abraham was to husbands?

Either way, Genesis gives us a picture of the complexity of marriage, the making of decisions by both partners, but in 1 Peter, we are asked to see in particular the honour Sarah shows her husband. Her character is on display here, even when he doesn't do so well as a husband.

16. 1 Peter was written to a particular group in context and culture very different to us. How do we know what parts apply eg whether distinct gender roles apply

The Bible is written in a definite cultural context. However, that does not mean that every aspect is cultural. So this is a good question - how much of this is cultural and how much is not? Given the appeal to Abraham and Sarah, who were from an even older culture (and very different from the 1st Century), that is one argument to say that cultural context is not the only thing guiding this teaching. Paul often appeals to Genesis 1-3 when he talks of gender roles - the creation story holds context even today - it is beyond context when we are appealing to God's creation order. 1 Timothy 2 is hotly disputed at times as it seems to be very culturally driven. The complexity in that passage is also the very unusual choice of words that are not used much elsewhere in the New Testament and seem to be very cultural. Some passages like this may be quite cultural, but also hold timeless truths we must interpret for our current time.

In short, the arguments used, the language choices and the context of those being addressed all play into how much culture plays a part in translation. 1 Timothy is written to a particular person, so it is a little more contextual, arguably. 1 Peter is written to a collection of churches so we might say that the context is not as tight here.

In short, this requires much attention and continued good discussion and scholarship. We cannot ever simply dismiss what the Bible says as "just a cultural thing". We must search deeply to understand how God speaks to us today through the cultural lens of the original author.

For 1 Peter, there does not seem much in terms of principles that we can dismiss it as entirely cultural. Whilst Peter is addressing a whole culture here, he is also appealing to historical figures such as Abraham and Sarah, and to the Psalms (34 - verses 10-12). Most of all, he appeals to the character of Jesus in 2:21-25 who we hold in every culture as our example for life. Hence we still "take up our cross" in today's culture, although it may not be a literal "cross".